I am an addict
For the past seven years I have gone through life pretending. I pretended that I knew what life was like without taking the recreational drug that everyone is taking. I pretended that I could be high on life without this drug, and that my experiences were equally valid and enticing as the experiences of everyone who is ‘in’ on the drug. Three days ago I finally succumbed under a cocktail of peer pressure, envy, and curiosity. As my partner is an expert at the drug, I knew I would be in safe hands, just like she was excited to finally indoctrinate me to this popular experience.
The first day I dabbled, then the next day I jumped in head first with a larger dose. I instantly felt the intoxicating powers and irresistible appeal and I acknowledged that my life from now on would in fact be different than before... enhanced. I was in a complete trance; captivated, stimulated, and seemingly incapable of tending to anything else than my high. Yesterday was the third day.
I wanted to catch up with the rest of the world so badly. Now that I had acquired the taste, I wanted to be an overnight expert. I binged. For more than eight hours I sat numb on my couch. I overdosed. And now I feel like an idiot, an amateur. Confused about my next steps I felt like sharing my experience with all of you.
(from Facebook, May 10th 2019)