Upgrade to celebrity! (September 2018)
I am scouring the British Airways lounge at LAX for a mystery celebrity. How did I get here?
Upon check-in 30 minutes ago for my flight to London, the friendly BA ladies at the counter asked me whether I wanted to upgrade from business class to first class for $800. I politely declined their 'generous' offer because I am quite happy in business class, and also I don't have $800 to throw around on a different kind of seat that reclines equally flat.
Normally that would have been the end of that exchange. However, tonight is different. Both ladies were noticeably giddy, and the younger of the two asked me if I was sure I did not want to purchase the upgrade. When I looked at her strangely with a look of "didn't we just go through this?", she couldn't help herself and said. "It will be quite special up there in first class tonight...we have quite the celebrity on board". Of course that immediately had my attention, not only because it is unusual that a first class check-in desk would mention the presence of a celebrity (they have them all the time), but mainly because it is a breach of protocol to even mention this to other passengers. If I would ever reach that kind of celebrity status, I would have mixed feelings about the airline offering upgrades to their passengers to be around The Scumfrog.
Curious exactly how far their disregard for this mystery celebrity's privacy would extend, I asked who it was. They both looked at each other whether they should tell me (I have been told I have a trustworthy face) but then after a pause, they apologized with all their giddiness and told be that they really couldn't say.
In the TSA line this whole thing started to get to me. Which celebrity could be so famous that it influences a generally un-phased first class crew? And would there be a celebrity in the world for whom I would actually pay $800 to sleep in their vicinity for 8 hours?
More questions started to pile up as I entered the lounge. I did not stop at the buffet or at the bar, but I made a slow tour through the entire lounge looking for signs of a celebrity or an entourage, but did not notice anyone that fit those categories, which made me realize that I might be oblivious to certain celebrities.
I am closing my laptop and going to my gate. If my next post is a selfie with Taylor Swift, then you know how that happened. If that's the case I will stick to my story that one night I received an offer to sleep with Taylor Swift for the low price of eight hundred dollars.
Good night everyone